I’m sorry, I’m late.
It’s something I feel I owe to so many.

I’m sorry, I’m late to finding love for myself, after cancer.
I’m sorry, I’m late to letting go, to accepting that my dad is gone.
I’m sorry, I’m late to knowing how to grieve a best friend.
I’m sorry, I’m late to facing addiction, to putting down the drugs, the drink.
I’m sorry, I’m late to letting go of my ex.

I’m sorry, I’m late to facing the mountain of debt chemo left behind.
I’m sorry, I’m late to apologizing.
I’m sorry, I’m late to remembering not to give up on myself.
I’m sorry, I’m late to seeing how loved I am—how lovable.

I’m sorry, I’m late to finding the words for all this.
I’m sorry, I’m late to finding the strength.
I’m sorry, I’m late to showing up for me.
I’m sorry, I’m late to seeing what you all saw.

I’m sorry, I’m late for pushing you all away,
for all the time lost to self-sabotage.

But I’m here now,
and I see it.

I see that I had the strength all along.
And maybe all I ever needed
was to forgive myself.